so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
