a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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