Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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