we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
