We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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