just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
