maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
