Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
