the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
