well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
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So squirting runs in the family.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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