first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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