this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
