mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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