My first STD was from a foam party
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
then he tried to convert me to islam
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
