There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Just pee around me
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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