Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
