I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
