you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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