My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
