Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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