Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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