is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
