Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
