is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
