well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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