Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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