i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
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Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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