I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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