My first STD was from a foam party
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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