HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I want to fling myself into the sun
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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