u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
