I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
