went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.