I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
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We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
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if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
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