absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Boobs speak an international language.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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