is your mom at the bar?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
