one two three fourrrrnication!
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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