shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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