yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
