Got a toothbrush?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
