You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
