i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
This toilet bowl is my home.
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