You're completely useless in the revolution.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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