I heard we made out
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
