we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
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