she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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