Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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