I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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