i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My ass is underappreciated
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
