I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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