I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
