what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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