HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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