Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
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Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
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DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style