He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
