We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
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