She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
