He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
