drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I have post one night stand depression
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
