on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
