I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
