Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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