so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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