i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
