it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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