no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
