I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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